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peter's future wife

the place to hide from reality and the constant-babbling dumpster of mine

this...what is this thing called again?
I had never believed in love at the first sight. I am a helpless romantic type of person, yes I am and will always be, but I never understand how this first-sight-love thingy works. I always think that it's too dramatic or waaaaay to overrated. More like a cliche.

I had never believed in love at the first sight. That is until 5 months ago when I first met you. Oh. Scratch that. 5 months ago when I first saw you walked through that door. Even before I know your name.

An now you're ruining my life....... orz..... 

Aku tak tahan melihat senja
Kututup daun pintu supaya tak tembus sinarnya
Saat paling baik adalah berada di kapal terbang 
yang menuju ke timur atau
sedang berada di kereta api sehingga
senja lekas terlewati.

Senja mengingatkan aku kepada perpisahan
yang diulur-ulur
dan kepada keraguan antara
kehadiran dan kemusnahan

Mengapa tidak sekaligus mati sehingga
orang tidak sempat meneteskan air mata
Aku terus menghindari senja
Senja yang membawa sedih selalu

Subagio Sastrowardoyo

A/N : This is one of the best poem that I really love. Not that it basically talks about my name, well, partly that; but this is really really angsty. Yeah.... 

Butterflies by D2O
It’s been so long

We moved on since you walked out that door

I’ve tried so hard to wash the memories that we have no more

So many times I hear the echoes of your voice

The way you talk, talk, talk, talk

All night it comes and goes

It hurts so bad cause what I thought we had was something real

But now the thoughts from where I stand leaves me so hopeless I’d still

Hope to wake up from this endless dream that

Every night I walk, walk, walk, walk

Although it hurts so bad

How many times have I tried

yet still these tears just won’t dry

But can you just let me go?

Reff :

The look in your eyes

It still gives me butterflies

It still gives me butterflies

Driving me insane I can’t ease the pain

With all of your lies

You still give me butterflies

You still give me butterflies

Cause that’s what you do

It’s so bad but it’s who you are

So here we stand like it’s been something telling me how you feel

I guess the thoughts of breaking us up was hard for you to deal

Every time you fed me lies as you stared right into my eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes

You still went for the kill

How many times have I tried yet still these tears just won’t dry

Why can’t you just let me go?

Rap :

Ugh, It’s been a while ago

Ugh, back again now here we go

Ugh, when you gone these ain’t a way

Kick stop they don’t seem to bump no more

Yeah, twice you throw a double straight combo

Heart split like a ballerino

Black and blue you beat me like a congo

My heart just died an hour ago

The look in your eyes

You're killing me now

When I’m all of your lies

Why you telling me now

Fell deep into your ocean

Couldn’t breathe in

My love was big

You couldn’t fit it all in

Hate the fact that I want you, still

These butterflies bout you, still

You got me standing up

Bounce like a borderline

Now a man down,

Go ahead and trace the line

I gotta let it go

I gotta let you go

You look good to have but it hurts like a tattoo

The look in your eyes (I just hate you)

I still gives me butterflies

It still gives me butterflies

Driving me insane I can’t ease the pain

With all of your lies

You still give me butterflies

You still give me butterflies

Yes that’s what you do

It’s so bad but it’s who you are


So. I'm not sure about the rap part.
So yeah. Sing along.

Full Credits: catherine_leite @ Oneway Indonesia
please take out with full credits, thanks ^^

prompt #53 : Tim Roth (posted to LJscribe)
There was a slight confusion on his face which kept me wondering for the reason way from where I sat in the third row at the church as I studied his whole features shamelessly. His face tilted to the left, concentrated on a small piece of paper. Then there was the confused look; eyes went wide, not that I could see it THAT clearly; I assumed it. Eyes went wide, deep frown, eyebrows pulled up to his hairline, almost invisible beneath his not-so-short fringe.
Damn, I watched too much Tim Roth being a scientist slash deception expert.
He’s handsome, though.

Writer's Block: Learning Curve
It's said that you learn something new every day. What did you learn today?

I learn that hotness doesn't necessarily come with good attitude. In short, hot man equals jerk.

pg.15 - Things I learned
There are things I learn every single day. New things, old things. Things I've to learn over and over again.
Well, lesson #1 was that when you buy clothes, especially from garage sale, make sure to see it thoroughly no matter what the brand was. An H&M shirt would have been a nice addition if it hadn't had hole in front of it. So I need to do something with that. :/

So anyway.
I never said my apologies twice. But today, I said it over things I didn't even need to. I thought, hey maybe she worth it! For Pete's sake, I even cried!
I always knew things would never be the same like before. But I thought she'd be different.
But then, it's not. She didn't want conflict anymore.

#2 is that, the only bestestest friend one's ever had and most probably the only one, is oneself. I think I'm just gonna stick to my most fundamental rule. Keep the distance.

But then, as I walked out of her place, right after the-we're-friends-but-never-be-bestfriends handshake and hug, I couldn't help but feeling a pang deep down inside. We're way too alike and it actually hurt like hell.
well, so #3 would be: the closer you get to someone, the harder it is to let go.


Writer's Block: Fantastic plastic
Would you consider having plastic surgery?

Well, I love myself just the way I am. That's for sure!
But, if the procedure is needed in one way or another, i.e: health problem, I think I'm going to do it.
Or if the reason is acceptable or logical. :D

I hate being attached.
I hate being attached. That's why, I don't bind myself with the past. Dwell in memories.

Anyone nor anything.
A past is a past. Everything is only good while it lasts. After that, everything's only...scraps of memories.

Being attached is only going to shorten my steps.
I've tried very much not to attach or emotionally involved with anything. I push people away, push everything away. Maybe since I don't wanna get hurt.
And it's actually not only assumption. It's not. It happened for real.

So, rather than become close and get hurt, better to stay away and avoid it.
I can't bear another shredded heart.

Writer's Block: Chicken soup
What is your cure for the common cold?

Chicken soup, a very hot one, a bowl or two. A very thick blanket and fever patch.

Writer's Block: Background players
What is your computer wallpaper right now?

A tiled picture of Choi Jonghoon, FT Island's sexy leader/guitarist.

That hair looks so soft... I feel like running my fingers through it.